Happy Monday Friends,
Exactly two years ago I was finishing up my weightloss journey from having Lincoln and then I immediately got pregnant with Lauritz. This having a baby business is so hard on my body. I’ve realized that my body weakens tremendously during the first year of my baby’s life. Nursing really takes it out of me and the whole pace of life with a new baby makes it difficult for me to be in a schedule. I have struggled with depression since I was a teenager. It comes and goes, thankfully, and I’ve realized I have a combination of both Anxiety and Depression. Being exhausted after having a baby along with everything that comes with caring for children often leaves me feeling like there are a million road blocks between where I am and where I want to be. I know from my experience after Lincoln that I am not powerless. I might have to work harder than some, but I can change and I can do hard things.
A few months ago I began more consistently running. I run 3 miles several times a week, almost daily. This has been a good start. I can tell that my body is using its stores of nutrients more efficiently and I am really enjoying exercising. Something I learned about my body after having Lincoln was that how I take care of my body has a large effect on how my body works. I know that sounds obvious, but before I got pregnant with Lincoln I gained about 15-20 pounds. Then I gained a lot of weight when I was pregnant. I noticed that during that pregnancy I had to wake up in the night to eat because I was so hungry I couldn’t sleep. When it came time to do the sugar test for pregnancy diabetes, my blood sugar was super super low! After I had Lincoln I felt like I had to eat right before exercising and I couldn’t work out for long. It seemed as if I never stopped eating. It drove me crazy because I wanted to just be normal and go 3-4 hours between eating but I always got sick if I did that. One morning I went to the gym to workout. I only had a glass of milk before going and I passed out at the gym. I wondered if I was getting diabetes, but my problem was severe hypoglycemia. Finally I began increasing my cardio and eating better and suddenly my blood sugar wasn’t a problem. I could fast on Fast Sunday. I could run long distances. I could go shopping and get a lot of things done before I felt like I needed to get something to eat. I didn’t feel like I was rushing to quick carbs anymore.
This healthy start to my next pregnancy made a huge difference. I never had to get up at night to eat. I stayed personal training until 7 months pregnant and I felt good about how I looked. I didn’t eat a lot of sugar and I only gained 25 pounds. After having Lars my body bounced back fairly quickly, but then I entered a very rough year. For me the first year of my baby’s life is such a joyous and difficult time, but this time with Lars was especially difficult. A couple months after having lars I could run 3 miles in 30 minutes. I can barely do that now. I weight 5 more pounds now than I did a year ago (and its not muscle!).
The reason I am writing this post is because being more public about my weightloss journey provided me with motivation last time and I hope that if you struggle with losing weight too, you might find strength and encouragement in my story.
I want to say though that I believe we must have compassion for ourselves and we must allow ourselves grace. It makes me sad how much I beat myself up after having Lincoln. It took away from that joyful time and I needed to be kinder to my body. This body has taken me this far and it has brought two children into the world. My legs make it possible for me to run, my hands can bathe and dress my children and hold my husbands hand, my arms can wrap around those I love. I want this to be a journey of change BECAUSE I love my body, not because I am punishing it. I hope you can see what your body does for you, and I hope you love it for that.
I am moving to Utah in about 4 weeks and that was how long it took me to lose 10 pounds last time I calorie tracked every day. So that is my goal. I want to calorie track and stay under my “goal” for calorie consumption. Seeing what I eat in myfitnesspal really helps me to balance my eating and helps my brain know that I don’t need anymore food because I can see all that I have eaten to fuel my body. Ive been tracking off and on for months but I want to commit to doing it every day. I will update you guys every week on how its going.
Do you want to join me in calorie tracking? If not, you’re more than welcome to just follow along. 😀
I also learned last time that Heavenly Father WANTS to help us take care of our bodies. When I finally turned it over to Him and asked him to teach me and strengthen me, I was finally able to gain control of my eating. I love this quote from conference:
At the very moment we say, “Father in Heaven,” He hears our prayers and is sensitive to us and our needs. And so His eyes and His ears are now connected to you. He reads our minds, and He feels our hearts. You cannot hide anything from Him. Now, the wonderful thing is that He will see you with eyes of love and mercy—love and mercy that we cannot fully understand. But love and mercy are with Him the very moment you say, “Father in Heaven.” – Elder Juan A. Uceda